I’ve been up since 4am. Staring at the ceiling. Waiting for an acceptable time to get up and make coffee. So it may very well be my lack of sleep that is making me extra cuddly this morning. Or maybe I’m the normal one and it’s the kids that are a$$wads Sharon. I once was… Continue reading Get the Hose
In case you were worried I’m off my kick about being very squishy in my middle age. I’m not at all done lamenting. I’m just getting warmed up folks. Yesterday I spoke to my eldest daughter by squishing my belly into a mouth. And again I went Canadian with the accent. Why? I’m not sure… Continue reading The 10 things and then the other 10 things
My dudes. I have to tell you something. I just finished rubbing a butt and my hands have never felt so silky smooth. Get your hands out of your pants Sharon and listen to the whole story. I was just elbow deep in the washing, trimming, and seasoning of a huge pork butt. Don’t fret… Continue reading My dudes, I have to tell you something
Ouch. That’s typically my first word every single morning. I repeat it through out the day. A long with many other zombie-esque noises. I’m ‘sick’ more often than I’m not. I hurt. Really hurt. ALL THE TIME. Doctors like to show patients a pain scale and ask for a corresponding number. It looks like this.… Continue reading Again? Yes. Again.
Thanks to some thoughtful feedback from my family and friends i.e. “This really sucks.” “Why do you write this crap.” “I did not understand a word of that.” “You’re a talented writer, I don’t get it the blog thing.” etc etc. I have decided (been outright bullied by these m%$#@# F&%$#@’s) to make sure every… Continue reading Like Oblio, I have a point now. Monday Blog Take 2
Please for the love of Kool-Aid do not define me. My need to be all of the things at once and therefor none of the things is powerful. My dysfunction is so deeply embedded I need to see an archaeologist not a therapist. (Though either is just going to say WTF and call their mom)… Continue reading Great. You Noticed. Now I can’t be that anymore.
I did a thing. I got involved in a whole mom thing and I was momming away and saying things like “what a doll” and “precious!” and other things I don’t say but I needed to say because I’m a mom and thats how moms say. Then. I. Got. In. Trouble. For reals. The leader… Continue reading I should probably tell you a story
I’ll tell you why I’m getting fat. It’s because I’m bored as sh*t. For real. When is the last time I ran up a slide? I used to love that. The trick was to run super fast so gravity didn’t notice until you reached the top accompanied by the sweet sound of all the adults… Continue reading If I have a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.
I’m kind of sad about how we the people handled the Tom Petty situation. We insisted he was dead until he agreed. We’re better than that, aren’t we? Then there’s Vegas which I refuse to even discuss. I don’t have a first hand account, I don’t know any of the survivors, the injured, or the… Continue reading I’m not in the mood to be funny today
There is an order. A series of steps. That are in order. Without order it’s chaos and then what are you even doing with your life Sharon? I cannot clean the kitchen unless I start with the dishes. I cannot clean my room unless I start with making my bed. I cannot skip around on… Continue reading Order of Operations and other bad excuses